What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
