Your mouth is God's brothel.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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