we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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