i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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