Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
