"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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