If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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