TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
