but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
