Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
