where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
