you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
