do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
