She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
