Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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