Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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