If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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