He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
