omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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