you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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