Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
