You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
BRING THE BAGELS
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
