please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she told me i tasted like america
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
