Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
