You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
