im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
