You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize