Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
