I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
