We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
