i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
