Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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