Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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