Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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