I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
