So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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