everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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