dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
