He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
