Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
