my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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