So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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