he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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