There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
