thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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