it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
