if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
