There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
