God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize