Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
please come you make the beer taste better
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
