when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
