so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize