so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize