Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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