it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
