ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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