Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
