Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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