He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
