Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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