You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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