I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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